Love! And an old dude!
O.K. somebody help me out here! Quite by accident, that's mostly how I do things on this machine, I ran into an older topic, beautifully written, called "Love Period!"
I have been struggling with a twice divorced, molested in childhood, sixty seven year old sexuality! What is right? What is wrong? What is fair to me? What is fair to my partner? What is honest, what is true? I can't or rather resist, putting any stock in catechistic nonsense put in my head by the same people who used all of that to molest me in the first place! So if you ever wanted to "take a shot" here's your chance.
Pertinent to what I've written below, I'd appreciate some honest comment! I'm really serious! I'll appreciate the input and I will listen! If you think I'm nutsoid, I'll listen to that!
And still I struggle !
"If there is love, each for the other, the act is driven by love. Love is absent, each for the other, what drives the act is lust!" John XXIII.
Should I make love, to my love, because I love her, there is love! Should I make love to her, and there is no love, I do to her, what was done to me!
Should my love make love to me, because she loves me, there is love! Should my love make love to me, because she knows my need, is there love?
Should my love make love to me, without cause or question, just to be, is that what was done to me?
By her word, she won't see me, as the man I want to be, yet and still she tolerates my touch.
Without question, thought, or deed! She offers everything I need, and gives to me whatever I would take!
I know she cares when I am there, and when I'm not, she cares where, I am, and if I'm safe and warm and dry!
How can I tell what's right or wrong? I know she notes that I am gone, not by her words but by the way she is!
By who and what and how she is, her understanding of my need, the acceptance of who and how and why I am.
I cannot, in my brain, in my heart or in my soul, feel that she does not love me!
The act is driven by love!.
I will no longer question! I will follow love!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres! Love never fails!
And now these three remain; Faith, Hope , and Love, And the greatest of these is Love! 1Corinthians 13
Should you care to take that apart and show me something I missed, DO IT!
God loves us all! And so do I!
James Edward
Dear James, thank you for
Dear James,
thank you for your open and honest post.
Yes, I think it's crucial to know what exactly 'love' is. The English language has inherent limitations in this sense, and it would do well for us to recognize that 'love' comes in many forms, as expressed by the various words for 'love' in Greek.
A good place to start may be Peter Kreeft on Love, which lists seven common misconceptions about Christian 'love'. He also mentions that:
"...no word is more misunderstood in our society than the word love. One of the most useful books we can read is C. S. Lewis' unpretentious little masterpiece The Four Loves. There, he clearly distinguishes agape, the kind of love Christ taught and showed, from storge (natural affection or liking), eros (sexual desire), and philia (friendship). It is agape that is the greatest thing in the world."
Here, then, is C. S. Lewis's Four Loves (Amazon.com).
In relation to eros, a great resource is Christopher West's Good News about Sex and Marriage (again, Amazon.com). The good news is that eros is not destroyed but healed and raised up in and through agape.
I hope this is helpful in some way. God bless!
James~ Dare I presume...?
James~ Dare I presume...? Yes there were some really great posts on that thread. From the way that your own spirit words blend in thought and spirit with Matthew 13 James it seems to me that you are closer to being the answer to your own question than you think. If your words and the obvious spirit in which they are expressed are integral to the 'heart talk' with your partner and echoed back then be at peace and let the healing roll on at its own pace. Yes, love is kind but it also endures the moments of unkindness and though it be strong it is tested and yes passion sometimes obscures but in that context, lust it is not. I was badly burned at age four. The scars remain and some memories but now they are story and I have no pain.
Ahh, Dennis! My "Old
Ahh, Dennis!
My "Old Friend" who knows about "pong brain," who I suddenly ascertain is Canuck! Why'd you keep that from me Dennis? Thomas finds out you're ashamed of it, he'll be digging at you alla time! How can anybody so studied, and so bright and so eloquent, be so wrong, so much! I'm betting he'll not let that pass! You Think? But God loves him and so do I!
I once took a dance lesson from a guy from Calgary, name of Cody Meline. After the class I aproached him and said, "So you're Canadian, EH?" He replied "Yeah! And you're American, HUNH!" The man moved like an angel!
And Marie!
I thank you both for your beautiful responses. I suspected, truth to tell, quite hoped honestly, that someone would take me to task and show me the error of my ways. I guess I'm just lookin for the easy way out!
Where is Thomas when I really need him! Alla this is so new to me (at 67?), so honest and so pure that I'm scared to death that there's something wrong with it that I just don't see! Can't see 'cause of all the things that I don't know! About everything! During all the perserveration on all of this, I wrote something for my "Baby Darlin'" If you mind me sharing it with you, just stop reading HERE!
For that sweet and gentle lady,
That slips into my mind, while I'm sleepin,
The one I cry for every dawnin',
'Cause I leave her while the mornin light comes creepin'.
One who feels the way I do,
About so many things I thought were dead and gone.
For that sweet and gentle lady,
I have penned these words and put them into song!
My Lady, I love you!
More than words could ever say!
And Lady I'll love you,
Until time has passed away!
For that sweet and gentle lady,
Who gives me all my reasons to keep tryin',
One whose smile can always find me,
When I'm hidin' in my soul and feel like dyin',
One who makes my day go right,
When everything I do seems destined to go wrong!
For that sweet and gentle Lady,
I have penned these words and put them into song!
My Lady, I love you!
More than words could ever say!
And Lady, I'll love you!
Until time has passed away!
'Til time has taken all the motion from these arms of mine!
'Til age has taken all the sight from these two eyes!
'Til Summer won't follow Spring, Until day won't follow night!
Until all the stars shall fall from all the skies!
My Lady I'll love you!
More than words could ever say!
And Lady I'll love you!
Until time has passed away!
My Lady I'll love you!
Until time has passed away!
Yes there is a melody to it! And yes, she has heard it! And yes she knows I wrote it for her!
And NO! She's not impressed!
God loves you both for your tolerance of an old dude!
James Edward
James~ Actually I quite
James~ Actually I quite frequently 'confess' to my canadianness. There are things I am ashamed of but that isn't one of them. One thing tho is we have our own J.B.Bush. That though is not the shame. The shame is that nobody even seems to notice. One more thing - please quit moaning about your age (67?). I'm older than you are and you are making me worry.
Dennis! Not to worry! I,
Dennis!
Not to worry! I, as you know, am a dancer! In competitive diving, each dive carries with it, a designated "level of difficulty" to be considered in scoring. As I dance, and go about my daily life, I don't MOAN, about my age Dennis! I'm simply taking advantage of the "level of difficulty" factor!
I apreciate your confession, and in the interest of international relations, would grant you absolution for your Canadianness! However I'm off to see my therapist, with whom I intended to discuss these issue, but due to the resposnes I've gotten, I now feel almost.......adequate! Perhaps I should send you all a check! Nahhh! It'd just bounce and crossing state and national borders, I'd be even further into it with the government!
God loves us all! And I'm 67 years old and trying!
James Edward
Looks to me like you got it.
Looks to me like you got it.
Marie R. Got It! I'm told
Marie R.
Got It! I'm told I'm full of "IT!" Ask Thomas!
God love you!
James Edward