Hook-up Culture on Catholic Campuses
In the recent issue of National Catholic Reporter, Kris Berggren has this excellent article on sexuality on secular and catholic college campuses titled Sexual Ethics: Even on Catholic Campuses Hook-up Sex Prevails.
http://ncronline3.org/drupal/?q=node/1072
I really greet seeing this issue addressed in research and in NCR.
My personal feelings on extra-marital sexuality has always been that when you become sexually involved with someone--in or out of marriage--you give away a piece of yourself. Whether this spending of the self is a true gift or spendthrift behavior is often determined by the futures but nothing is more repugnant to me thanso-called hook-up sex. So much is given up for ostensibly only a sexual outlet--since it is implicitly non-committment oriented.
Still, this is a time when Catholic parents and others will find themselves up against a prevailing society that assumes casual sexual interaction. And the sex drive is arguably peaking in the college years.
So I like the part of the article where they emphasize that moving people toward more chaste behavior will be incremental for many.
And this is why I will probably never be a school nurse at a Catholic High School or College. I believe in a WWJD sense that kids who are making their way through this confusing maze should be offered condoms, STD testing and counseling and contraception. At my foundations I believe harm reduction has a role.
My over arching preference for my son would be chastity until marriage. But I am willing to work towards and accept every single year that he remains chaste because I believe the potential for harms is greater the younger kids have sex. Yes, physical emotional spiritual harms. Yes, I'd rather he wait for marriage. But I would accept committed sexuality outside of marriage. And if I can't have that, I'd accept sexuality with protection.
Thankfully, Christ doesn't ask for perfection from us but a willingness to work towards improving our relationship with him.
Colkoch, I love your posing
Colkoch, I love your posing of the question of sexual energy as something you give away like candy or treat it like text messaging.
It is so hard to touch this issue with the right touch, the right amount of pressure. This is a thoughtful question that doesn't get too loaded with moral flogging.
Thank you for that phrasing.
Colkoch, you wrote: "Until
Colkoch, you wrote: "Until the Church can teach the truth that sexuality is not about acts, it's about spiritual energy, ...."
I applaud you on your wisdom with your daughter. No doubt that was a divine inspiration. No doubt, your daughter has a radically different future now than before that conversation.
I agree with you about the energy transfer. We could save our children so much suffering, and they might even listen to us if we were to present this issue to them in this manner. They certainly wont listen to us quote party dialogue generated by "a bunch of celebate, sexually frustrated, geriatric men who dont have a clue what they are talking about." (my son's words when we had a similar talk)
It is unfortunate that the topic of "energy" has been unfairly and inappropriately relegated as "satanic" by the magisterium. It could be such a useful tool for us to use in all areas of our lives.
This is exactly what Fr.
This is exactly what Fr. Andrew Greeley speaks to in relation to overwhelming Beauty in the Liturgy. Unitary resiliency in the face of wordly confusions is the greatest gift that we can give the young. Regular re-orientation to Universal Beauty encourages the repetition of virtuous acts , which in turn fortifies the reserves of virtue. The resultant peace and self-confidence are the states that every teacher and parent strive to instill and accommodate. The Bishops appear to remain clueless about making this connection. Then we wonder why the problems persist. The Catholic tradition maintains the resources to lead the way to passionate and joyful life. It seems to me that Janis Joplin gave ' another little piece ' of her heart until she could give no more. This is the error of teaching for the Boomers legacy. Fortunately it can be readily reversed.
Beauty is not opposed to truth. It is simply truth in its most attractive form.
My college age son told me
My college age son told me that the women in his dorm engage in this activity thinking that is how it's supposed to be. Then afterward they sit around lamenting and wondering why "he doesn't call".
It really is time for a
It really is time for a reality check. The Mosaic laws about sex and marriage were written at time when there was NO contraception, NO treatment for STD, and written by members of a male dominated society that decided whatever they decided. Women were property. Marriages were arranged by men. The women had no say in it ... need I go on?
Today is today. Attempting to apply "mosaic morality" laws to sex and marriage today makes as much sense as attempting to apply the same mosaic laws to a womans menstrual cycle. It is a totally different world today.
Am I saying anything goes ... ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! The fact is, our children are already having sex, and they have been for quite a while. While it is not the Vatican teaching, I believe it is far better if we teach them to be responsible, maintain open communication with them, and support them in whatever way we can, than to bury our heads in the sand and hope the issue magically goes away.
Dennis Prager posted an
Dennis Prager posted an article at , Creators.com , saying that the Boomer Generation owes an apology to their children for over sexualizing their lives. There is a realistic balance to be achieved , and I don't subscribe to the conservative tendency to infractionalize everything about spirituality leaving the impression of pure stability. It is an ongoing work of dialogue to address the needs of each individual to realize the true freedom of living a unique life in partnership with others of the same nature.
Beauty is not opposed to truth. It is simply truth in its most attractive form.
Molly J you wrote: "My
Molly J you wrote: "My personal feelings on extra-marital sexuality has always been that when you become sexually involved with someone--in or out of marriage--you give away a piece of yourself."
This is absolutely true and when confronted with this possibility I have seen young adults blanche. I asked my daughter this same thing when she was discussing the sexual procliviities of her suite mates at a dorm on a Catholic college. "Is this how you want to sexually express your spiritual energy? Giving it away like candy or treating it like text messaging." She got my point and started to pay very close attention to the conversations of her suite mates. She found out that this 'energy' thing had merit and noticed that the most predatory males always enticed the least secure females and the cycle would keep repeating itself until the girl was dumped because there was nothing left for her to give.
Until the Church can teach the truth that sexuality is not about acts, it's about spiritual energy, our kids will give the best of themselves away, and I don't mean their virginity, I mean their core self energy. Thanks for this thread.
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