Is this disease my new career?

Thank You for the reminder, Molly, about Pema Chodron. This wonderful writer has a marvelous book out called "When Things Fall Apart". (Among others.) It was so good I somehow ended up with two copies, so I gave one away. Now that you have refreshed my memory, I think I will have to buy another, because I would not part with my own copy, and my sister is now dealing with a recurrence of breast cancer. I think I will send her a copy. The other day I went to the therapy office I rent by the hour from a colleague, and she had written "Pema" in big letters on her notepad. So many of us love her!

I myself have a couple of chronic things, a tremor of my hands (essential tremor) which is getting worse, and a rather difficult voice condition which just frustrates the heck out of me, because I used to be quite the easy public speaker. But, like someone else on this thread has mentioned already, each "situation" presents its own unique challenges, and with it, "gifts".

It's convenient sometimes to look at others and say, "Karma", (happened to me this morning, so that may be why I am dwelling on it) but to me, that is just baloney for a person who follows the Gospels, though it appears (at first sight) to relieve a lot of us of the obligation to be of service (Buddhists still seem to be of service, don't they?).

It's just not the way we Christians seem to approach things. I had to remind my sis this morning that, no, we don't "deserve" these conditions of life; "Karma" is not really a "Christian" concept, although "Acceptance" surely is. When we say "why me?", "Why not me?" is usually the ready answer, but the answer is not "Karma" for me, although maybe Pema would disagree.

There is so much sadness, like the Tsunami, that is so utterly overwhelming, or like Katrina, in the world, that sometimes one desires convenient explanations when there simply are not any. Except sometimes "us". or "none". These people didn't "do anything in a past life to deserve" such terrible tragedy and sadness. I refuse to believe in a punishing God. I believe the "Good News" of a Loving God even when I am angry and very sad and not very accepting.

Sometimes, with chronic conditions, we can make positive changes if we try. One heathcare program in which I worked had a "model" which stated that those "with chronic conditions recover best who become experts in their own diseases." I have found this to be true, whether it is alcoholism, depression, OCD (I have worked in these fields) and the person becomes actively engaged in recovery this way. This includes things like diabetes, heart disease (Dr. Agatston has a great new book out called"The South Beach Heart Program" which I personally found invaluable for dealing with a "new" heart issue my doc wants me to nip in the bud) etc.

Me, I'm going ahead seeing a doc who's expert in dealing with botox for the voice dysphonia next month (I hope if the doc approves--I've been passive and floundering for years) which supposedly will improve my voice spasms; and my meds doc and I have decided that it's time to consider brain surgery for the tremors of head and hands after all these years (would make me feel like I'm in Grey's Anatomy getting operated on by McDreamy, but I like my long hair...) oh well, the challenges. Just glad that insurance will cover at this age. The thing is, it's easy with some of these things to sit back and isolate and be passive when so many medical developments are happening as we speak (and have been, it just takes time to get to the point where one realizes something "needs to happen"--sort of like the grieving process,really.

And, oh yes, there's meditation and prayer. For those with chronic disease, nothing is more helpful for "staying on track". God be with everyone who deals with this stuff--you are certainly NOT alone!! What a great idea for a thread!

Dear Annie Malone Zangari~ "Is this disease my new career?" I think so, yes.

You pose two issues; the first is aging, the second is chronic disease. Though the two are related they, for me at least are distinct, for now. Why? Well, I am aging and experiencing some of the inevitable effects, but still enjoy relatively good health. Not having (yet) experienced a chronic disease I can only speculate, and maybe theorize on that dimension, also inevitable.

I recall reading a book chapter on "the crone". We think of the crone as an old bitchy shrew bent and dark but this author saw the crone as performing a valuable function in the family, the tribe/community. I think my reflection added the dimension of "responsibility", but I won't take credit. "Wisdom" the practical learned and reflected-upon common sense resides in larger measure among the aged. The lack of same and the relatively raw urges of youth- competition, ambition, selfness, ego, short-term perspective, even fear, these are the prerogative of the young bucks and buckesses and the healthy. They need us whether they (or we) know it or not. We, therefore, have the potential and the responsibility to do our best to age well, to stand but stand aside, to mitigate, to mollify, to soften but most of all to legitimize, reinforce, encourage and allow the young to grow to take their/our place with a little more wisdom and strength and compassion than we did at their age. We have a particular responsibility to speak out to and for the community and to do it with increasing grace and steadfastness indulging in the right of the older to question rather than to have all the answers. We need to be seen, yes seen, to give up the accoutrements of youth with resignation and grace and to embrace aging with dignity and as much freedom and fun as we can muster. You are right that is a career and a challenging one.

I only hope and pray that if/when/as chronic conditions are dropped upon me that I can maintain that sense of value and responsibility.

Whatever is in your life that is the source of your question, I pray you well.

'And He looked on that that He had created and saw that it was good' Now we can look on that that we have created and see that it was not all that good. Getting old is easier if we start when we are young.

As a nurse, I have some awareness of a nursing theorist by the name of Margaret Newman who felt like the notion of health as a dichotomy--either healthy or not healthy--was too limiting of the actual experience of people undergoing chronic illness and she perceived health as expanding consciousness. She felt that illness presented an opportunity for growth and change.

Like so many changes in our lives, it is not one we welcome but you do sometimes hear people say, "There are so many things that I would not have known if I hadn't had this disease." But that statement has the feeling of skipping to the back of the book and reading the ending without appreciating the ups and downs of the plot, the central action of the life story.

I have to admit that I think Buddhism has much to say to us about suffering because they talk about how at the center of ourselves, we do not think we should have to suffer. But a certain amount of suffering happens. Pema Chodron talks about being right where you are and feeling your sadness and noticing it but not dwelling on it. Quite a spiritual practice.

Even at this age, only 50, I'm surprised when my stamina isn't what it used to be, I'm not as emotionally resilient as I used to be, my eyes down't work like they used to.

Women at this age see other women being stricken by cancer. I watched my parents become lonely as one by one they lose siblings, friends.

So the trick is noticing that these things are really happening, capturing joy, continue to give?

This is an interesting question you have posed.